Parents' Dreams Fulfilled

I forgot about this blog already. Just to let you guys know, I did not quit my parents' dream. I have done it! Last Sept 2016, I have finally passed my Physician's Licensure Exam and made my parents' proud. Truth be told though I did succumbed to a major depressive state but was keen enough to find help. A Psychiatrist who happens to also be my friend helped me and I also started taking antidepressants and exercising. Finally after 2 years of recurrent leave of absences, I finally was mentally well enough to complete my internship and went on to finish my medical schooling. My parents were there, so was my significant other. It does get better. I have to be honest, suicidal thoughts abound during those times. I felt like the most useless piece of shit. And being depressed, I feel like I just want to be alone and unable to do anything or nowhere else to go. It feels like all opportunities are closed and even if I was hired to do a teaching job for a big and known university, I still felt useless that time. It eats you up every single day. Being a medical student that time did not help since I know how to attempt suicide. I even tried overdosing in a certain drug but weirdly it did not affect me. Well, today I am a Doctor of Medicine and now practicing as a General Practitioner for 3 years. Many people are now asking if I will still go for residency training but honestly the trauma is still there. Nothing in life is easy, but being stressed is relative, toxicity is relative, it is how you handle things and adjust to it. Having asian parents, my dad used to tell me to just finished medicine and he will not bother anymore. Now that I have done it, he wants me to specialize. Guess we have to strive hard to still bring pride to our asian parents. 😁

It does get better! So don't give up! Keep walking!